Nine to Five
You know, I almost entitled this post “9 2 5″ but then realized that ritual suicide would be the only recourse for being so obnoxious.
I’ve accepted a “day job.” Though I’m still technically an independent contractor this current contract resembles everything the nine to five type would be used to. Normal hours, regular payments at certain intervals and a whole corporate bureaucracy to wade through. In short, it is everything I cannot stand about modern jobs. I’ve worked on a more lax contract basis my whole life. It has its ups and its downs, but the up that’s been most important to me is the sense of freedom and the sense of being my own boss. It doesn’t mean I do what I want since, if you don’t please a client you don’t get paid and don’t eat, but still. The dynamic between you and a paying client versus you and a boss are quite different. I’ll adapt though and, really, I’m still a contractor and there’s not a whole lot that can change my attitude. We’ll see how I mesh for the next few weeks.
Frodo should have some fond memories of how I used to operate in an office environment.
It’s lunch right now and unfortunately, no one here seems to know anything about anything. The guy that’s walking me through everything is clearly the most competent as far as understanding the system goes, but he’s out. The CTO–the guy that got me the gig here–is in a meeting and despite telling me we’d fill out some paperwork in this gap right now, he’s simply stayed in the meeting. Ugh. Speaking of which, that resulted in what was easily one of the most corporate experiences of my life.
Me: “So, I need to get my own login credentials so I can start poking around to understand these systems. Who do I talk to?”
CTO: “Oh, there’s a form you need to fill out first.”
Me: “Like, a form as in, paper? What century is this?”
CTO: “I know, I know. Anyway, go back to HR and get the form then bring it to me to we can get it filled out.”
So, I walk back to HR–mind you, it’s on the other side of the office–and inform the lady there that I need this particular form.
Me: “Hey, the CTO just sent me back here. I need a credentials form.”
HR: “A what?”
Me: “A credentials form. That’s what he called it anyway. I guess I need to fill something out so I can get logins to various systems around here.”
HR: “Oh right, that form. I already emailed it to him. Just tell him he’s got it.”
I leave, walk back down to the other side of the office to bug the CTO again.
Me: “Hey, she says you already have the form. It was emailed to you.”
CTO: “Oh yeah. I can’t print it now though so go back and tell her to print one and bring it back to me and we’ll fill it out.”
As one would guess, I walk back there again.
Me: “Hey, he can’t print right now. Can you print one up for me so I can take it back to him?”
HR: “Sure. The CTO is still pretty new here so he’s still not used to all the normal procedures.”
And I get my form, go back to him in the meeting and have been waiting since. (20 minutes or so.) I should be talking to someone about the accounting system, but it seems everyone is out to lunch. I should be reading documentation but… that’s something this place doesn’t believe in. Ugh.
So yes, I’m nine to five for a while. I’m corporate. I’m white collar. I’m going to be watching Office Space and relating painfully.
January 14th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
I don’t know if my favorite anecdote is “please don’t call our customers cocksuckers”, “fix the Internet” or “did his check clear”. Every one of them makes me laugh.
January 14th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Oh, those were all WAY funnier, but I thought this one was “corporate.” And “did his check clear” is only funny to those who did NOT have to deal with Fast Eddie’s support questions.