Trite, Vapid, Stale, Unimaginative and Lacking in Originality
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008All of the above are synonymous with “banal.” For those of you unfamiliar with the term, let me give a bit from my dictionary: “so lacking in originality as to be obvious and boring.” Considering the state of blogs since their inception, I figure that’s a pretty fine title for any blog really!
Given what I think of most blogs, someone might ask the snide question, “Well, if they’re so boring, why are you writing one?” Rather than answer this directly, let me digress a bit and discuss another subject I comment on regularly: penis trucks. You’ve all seen them I’m sure; souped-up, diaper buffed, over-powered gas guzzlers that don’t appear to have been driven off-road and have never hauled a boat or carried a bed full of anything in their entire existence. They’re almost universally operated by some rich prick trying to capture his completely depleted masculinity, or worse, some obnoxious woman toting a bumper sticker that reads, “Silly boys, trucks are for girls.” I don’t think I need to state that I hate these things, but I’ll do it anyway. I hate these things.
A few months ago I was driving around town in my relatively modest truck—a truck so modest in fact, only a midget could hope to use it to compensate for his own undersized equipment—and saw one of these monstrosities. Typically, I’d make some sort of comment to myself like, “homo” or “pansy ass” or merely snicker, but before I could do so in my own pavlovian manner, I saw a bumper sticker on his bumper that made me giggle a little. It read: “Does this truck make my penis look bigger?” Bonus points for being ironic. It was like this VW bug I saw puttering around a few weeks ago with a tiny pair of those fake testicles hanging from the back.